Old Objects

"We learn the scope of our creativity as we bring out the best in old objects, create new scenes by moving things about, get ideas for modifications by observing things in a certain light." -Noddings

When I met Ben he alternated driving two of the family cars. One was an Audi whose tape deck would not eject a Raggae cassette. The driver and passengers were thus eternally bound to the the sixty minute tape flipping back and forth through 1980's reggae hits. The other car was a 1980-something white Toyota van that Ben had to literally spark the ignition each time he started it up. I have had the privledge to drive this van and it was quite the milemarker in our relationship.

Somewhere around two years ago, just when we started dating, Ben bought a little brown 1992ish Jetta. Since then he has had two cd player misfortunes, has creatively rebuilt parts of his engine, has lovingly patched his muffler (after having the loudest muscle car on the block for a few months), & the bumper hangs low from a hit and run. We took his car for cruising north on Sheridan road, sometimes ambitiously reaching Wisconsin to play minigolf and then return home just as people's porch lights are turned on. Or to a park to lean back the seats and listen the the small waves that stir from Lake Michigan. Ben's cars have beautiful, quirky, & one of a kind character that I adore.

Last week he decided to buy something newer & a little more dependable. Yet as he moves around town in his safe little 1998 economy car he finds something is missing. "I pulled up to the stoplight and saw the car next to me was a Jetta. And suddenly I was like- what was wrong with my Jetta? I can fix it up. It's fine. And then I realized the car next to me was mine. My dad was driving it."

I believe objects that we encounter on a daily basis begin to shape us. We experience pieces of our life with them, they become familiar and we know all the little hitches- like the first gear is kind of difficult to manuever but one you get into second it's fine. The longer we stay with an object like a car, the more character and personality we pour into it. Stepping into a new car without that character can feel sterile & unfriendly. But think of it this way Ben, we are starting fresh and will have new experiences & visit new places in this car too. And you will shed that car and another will come along (something cooler if you desire) and we will grow and love in that car too. The new car is just a stepping stone from old to "reliable" to eventually something that actually encompasses you and what you like.