twosmallmonsters

I have found myself in the infamous locked horn position that I have visited many times with this person who, according to American values & standards, should be a VIP. (It's not Ben. Promise!) I rarely rage but it is inevitable in certain conversations with certain individuals. The conversation was completed with a slammed phone and I was on the floor sniffling. Once able to ambulate to the proper sitting couch and carry on a conversation with normal breathing patterns, I called Judith- an artist, intellectual, and story teller who has shared so much wisdom with me over the past year.

"I must refer to something I wrote down from NPR's morning show today," she offered. I heard her flipping through one of her hundred yellow legal pads that hosted lists of errands, phone numbers of Targets in the area, quotes from Dicken's novels, and medications to be refilled. "The context of the quote isn't relavent to the topic but I think the quote is applicable." I listened to more paper rustling and then she spoke the quote slowly. "The more we act, the more our own energy goes against us." We discussed what images this quote conjured up.

"A jousting knight?" I offered.

"Exactly," she agreed. "Think about it this way: the knight is coming at his opponent full force. He probably expects a fight. And let's say the opponent just turns away right at the anticipated impact." We paused and waited for our image to reveil the consequence. "We need to learn how to do that when other people want to pull us in with their chaos and their sputtering. Some people feed off negative energy and arguments just escalate if you fall into their trap. You have to keep your reply simple: That's just not possible. That should be exactly enough. When you start over-explaining, that's where the trap is set and the disaster awaits." And so we rehearsed my line. I jotted it down on a pink lined notecard that is filed away in the back of my cranium for a phone call I anticipate in another month.