The Wall

I hit my wall this week. It wasn't pretty or graceful but I suppose hitting a wall isn't one of those kinds of things. Last weekend was amazing in that the drywall was hung and primer was applied. It is something Ben and I (and everybody else we know!) have been excited for over two years. The only pesty thing was that there is a dusty mess everywhere and inside everything. The ladder that I climb to get upstairs is now perfectly vertical and runs through this narrow slot in the ceiling that requires a shimmy. Since everything is dusty (including the ladder and the shimmy space), this means I arrive at work with a drywall dusty bottom and don't really realize it until someone is swiping at my bottom. I sleep better at night if I assume it's to dust me off. I also am reconciling with the fact that one of my closest friends, Angela, will be moving on and leaving me at my workplace. A friend for two years who has been within an arms reach 40+ hours a week will be toiling downtown in the loop. True true sadness. :o(

The house is very much a mess and we still do not have a kitchen so breakfast includes climbing down the ladder to get the milk and orange juice out of the fridge and then somehow canoodling myself up the ladder balancing a jug of milk and juice in one hand and using my other to climb. It takes about 10 times longer to find or do anything at this stage of rehab which, in the morning, agitates me a tad. I like to think that I can handle all these little nuances. I am so lucky to be in the process of literally making a home and for the most part, I just find all these little nuances funny and good stories to tell my patients. Nuances were all they are and I think I was fairing well- until my car broke this week. I was driving to the lake to eat breakfast on the beach when suddenly the sound of rusty nails scraping against a muffler struck up a chord with the application of my breaks. And suddenly, with every application of my breaks thereafter is the sound of metal on metal. And suddenly, Ben tells me over the phone how to stop a car by down shifting the gears instead of applying breaks. I am suddenly driving like a 16 year old learning how to drive stick- I am car sick by the time I reach home but I think I only had to actually apply the break three times.

So it's been that kind of week- sad, agitated, and excited all at once. But it's also been super cool because our friend Mark came up from Arizona and joined us for a campfire Sunday night and the lilacs have bloomed and the next step in the house is cleanup and painting. I think I am in love with spring and all the newly blossomed trees in my neighborhood. I am excited for the fun we are planning this spring and summer. I am excited to have a kitchen again (hopefully next week!)